We Remember
21 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
Although I don’t remember that I ever met Mary Kathryn Schwope, I do know her youngest daughter Murel Connolly, and Murel’s children, Laine Moore, Jami Maves and Ben Connolly.
I was so drawn to this woman of many lifetime accomplishments. I read the extensive obituary on the Casper Star-Tribune website. I thought my life had been full, but in this woman’s 94 years, she makes my life feel a bit insignificant. I’m okay with that, though.
She was a remarkable woman with an amazing ability to remember people’s names and a wonderful sense of humor. She was a fierce patriot, a die-hard Democrat, and proud Wyomingite. She never passed up a chance to recite a poem from her uncounted repertoire but her favorite by far was (author unknown) “Wyoming”:
Have you ever seen the sun rise on the high and rolling plain?
Have you ever smelled wet sagebrush after a sudden springtime rain?
Did you ever feel the sting and smart of gravel in your face?
Then you’ve never known the glamour of that god forsaken place,
Wyoming.
Have you ever seen the clear cut skyline when the evening shadows fall?
When the mountains look like cardboard and you hear the coyotes call?
Have you seen the painted badlands with their yellow, red and blue?
You’ll never know how lonesome life can be until you do in
Wyoming.
Have you seen the sand and sagebrush stretch for miles and miles away,
While down the hill and along the draws the cooling shadows lay.
It’s lonesome, it’s desolate, it’s off the beaten track.
But once you’ve caught the lure of it you’re lonesome until you’re back in
Wyoming.
Grandma Kay will be greatly missed.
Homesteading Continued…
21 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
Life in our early years was a bit tough. The years before coming to Wyoming I pretty much lived in town. The convenience of town life is…well, convenient. Even though we lived on a paved county road (locals called it being ”on the oil”), living 15 miles out of town, with the nearest neighbor 3 miles away, was extremely remote for me. We had no TV reception, and very poor radio reception. However, Red being a musician himself, and myself having long musical roots, and by combining two households, each with an extensive musical library, we were able to keep ourselves immersed in music as much as we wanted. Whew! That was sort of a run-on sentence…
For the size of Wheatland, we have a very nice library. I’ve never been much of a reader, and my younger son was too young yet to be reading much. I struggle with not comprehending much of what I read, so, I’m very easily bored with the written word. I have a hard time just getting through a magazine article, let alone an entire book. On the other hand, my husband, and my oldest son, were never without a book to read. They remain that way even today. I admire people who can read and remember what they’ve read. I’ve just not been that type. I tried, but it just didn’t happen.
We first lived at what I call “The Honeymoon” place. Just a little run down place, used mostly for ranch-hands not terribly concerned with anything except a place to lay their head at night. It was a converted 2-room schoolhouse. At that time we had a very small mudroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room, and two bedrooms. The entire structure was warmed by a homemade woodstove that didn’t draw very well. We ordered a new woodstove from Montgomery Ward that first winter. I believe it was called a “parlor stove”. We had decided that would be our wedding present to each other. It warmed our home and our hearts.
There were several times, in the year and a half we were there, that we’d see a car at the fence line by the road. One time, I was near enough to the road that I went up and visited with the couple for awhile. It turned out that they had also lived there and were as happy as we were. We were given the first option to buy the 1000 acre ranch, at $100/acre, but we could barely handle the $150/month rent. After we left the Honeymoon place, the ranch was bought by a couple who also loved it, but they were well off enough to remodel and add to the house.
—More another day 
Homesteading (Sorta)
11 Jul 2011 1 Comment
When I moved my little family from Wisconsin to Wyoming in 1982, I had no idea what to expect. Well, that’s not exactly an accurate statement either. I had visited once and was wrapped up in the romantic Western way of life.
I was used to living in big, old, Victorian type houses. The frugality of Wyoming citizens seemed to allow for more basic residences. The style and size that weren’t difficult to clean, heat, or maintain. They were/are small. The economy of the past, maybe 40 years, has shown a change, but the homes my family would be living in, in the early times, would be small.
Red and I first rented a ranch house 15 miles from town. It was in the middle of a 1,000 acre cattle ranch and was no more than 800 square feet. This house was the only one you could see from the road since going west of Mule Shoe (another ranch homestead). This house had been a one-room school house that had been used in the early 1900’s. Since Julius Gallager was the oldest attending, when his teacher moved on, he was chosen to replace her. When we moved there, Julius was in his 80’s. He died at 105. He was a fascinating man, but that will have to be another story. We also learned that Julius’ wife’s Uncle, from Switzerland, had lived there. One day while walking around the place I found a partially buried mailbox with the name Barnhart painted on it. It was given to Elisabeth that very week.
We were pretty remote. The nearest telephone was at the neighbor to our east about 3 miles away. When I inquired about phone service I was told that it would cost something like $100/foot to lay the line. We never had phone service in the entire year and a half we lived there. It took about 3 months for me not to hear a phone ring. After that, it was actually quite pleasant.
Wood was the only source of heat for our little house. We burned pine cut from the nearby mountains. Since Red was working in Craig, CO all week, and only home on the weekends, we spent the majority of the weekend cutting and splitting wood. We didn’t own a chainsaw then, so we would use a bow saw. He worked us pretty hard. His goal was to make sure we wouldn’t run out of wood before the next weekend. It was tough for the boys. They were only 9 and 6 and definitely not used to working so hard. They did the very best they could, and slept really well those nights.
The prairie near the Medicine Bow mountain range was active with antelope, coyotes, cotton-tails, and jack rabbits. Many times we would see eagles and owls. The mountain blue birds were a treat, as well as the Stellar Jays, and the Magpies.
We would occasionally see a rattlesnake, but Red was very good at chopping their heads off with a shovel. When I first met Red, he was working on the pipeline in the Red Desert near Rawlins, WY. One of the first tasks of the day was to roll the big sections of pipe and kill the rattlesnakes. Every week he would bring home the trophy rattles in a sandwich bag.
To be continued…
Lenten Reflection
13 Mar 2011 Leave a Comment
According to Wikipedia, Lent in the Christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year from Ash Wednesday to Easter. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, repentance, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Today, some people give up a vice of theirs, add something that will bring them closer to God, and often give the time or money spent doing that to charitable purposes or organizations.
Every year my attempt to slow down, manage my obligations, and spend more time in study to develop a closer relationship with God, seems to be in vain. I also struggle with what I might “give up” for Lent. Until, a few years ago, I stumbled upon the following piece that I share with you today.
What To Give Up
Give up complaining………….focus on gratitude.
Give up pessimism……………become an optimist.
Give up harsh judgements…..think kindly thoughts.
Give up worry………………….trust Divine Providence.
Give up discouragement……..be full of hope.
Give up bitterness…………….turn to forgiveness.
Give up hatred…………………return good for evil.
Give up negativism……………be positive.
Give up anger………………….be more patient.
Give up pettiness……………..become mature.
Give up gloom…………………enjoy the beauty that is all around you.
Give up jealousy………………pray for trust.
Give up gossiping…………….control your tongue.
Give up on sin…………………turn to virtue.
Give up on giving up…………hang in there!
—Author Unknown
My Prayer For You
19 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
Note: This is borrowed from an email I received this morning. This woman has actually put into words what comes so close to what I carry in my heart for each of you…
Holy Dance
A friend sent a message from her farm in Iowa, saying she was praying and that God loved me. Loves me. And I went on about my day complete with emails and tweets and RTs and deadlines and meetings and saying grace and dinner and groceries and all the rest of it. All through it I was fighting against that lump at the back of my throat.
I reached for a cart and forced a smile at a man in jeans and his tiny daughter in orange sandals who held his hand, and he let his steps keep pace with hers. No hurry. No worry.
I wanted to be like him. But my list fit on a post-it note and I was overwhelmed. My cart had wheels that wobbled. And squealed. And so I slowed my roll.
“Even when I don’t know the details, I can talk to the One who knows every bit of it. And you know that He knows,” she had written.
At the register, I stood behind a little girl who asked her daddy for some candy and he said, “We’ll see.” He leaned to see the price of a jumbo candy bar wrapped in orange and paused before he said, “OK” and she smiled big as he did silent calculations in his head and waited for his debit card to clear.
“…I wanted you to know that I’ve been talking to Him about you today, Deidra, and He loves you so,” her message said.
When my turn came, I counted out my sixteen items and chatted in small sentences. I wheeled my wobbly cart out through the doors and thought that’s where my day would end.
But my friend had been praying, and God was on display.
When I walked out of the grocery store at the end of that day, everybody noticed it. The murmuring was unmistakable. “Wow, honey. Just look at that!” The man behind me whistled out a low breath of amazement. It seemed I exhaled from my toes and my heart nearly emptied itself out onto my soul.
And I don’t know if anyone else noticed, as I weaved my cart with that one wheel still wobbling and squeaking, that I fought hard against the tightening at the bottom of my throat. I caught my breath as God waltzed out a love letter in the sky. I didn’t want to miss the dance.
I put the groceries in the trunk and buckled myself into the driver’s seat. I drove myself to an open field and turned off the headlights in the dusk. Opening the door, I turned off the engine and stood with one foot in the car and the other on the ground.
I raised my hands to heaven and my heart whispered, reminding me that clouds are the dust of His feet. And I was small under that great big sky that moved and bowed and shifted colors right before my eyes. Through tears and awe I sang, “Hosanna. Be lifted higher.” My heart bowed low when I thought of one sweet soul sending up prayer songs on my behalf and the great love of this God who keeps pace with us, responding to her in a dance over a field just for me.
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
~Zephaniah 3:1 (NIV)
How about you? Can I kneel before God for you today? Do you fight hard inside, but with a smile on the outside? Can I ask God to keep pace with you?
Today’s devotional was written by Deidra. Photograph by Michelle DeRusha.
You can read more from Deidra and other inspiring writers at (in)courage.
Involvement
06 Jul 2010 3 Comments
Can I just get this off my chest? So, anybody who’s active in an interest…a church, for instance, has heard of the 80/20, or 90/10 rule, or whatever that rule is, where 80% of the work is done by 20% of its members. It seems that the church I love so much, isn’t all that different from the rest of the world. Furthermore, why am I surprised by this?
I’ve just come from a worship committee meeting. We don’t have a pastor right now, so we have much work to plan our worship services. Only one of the four elders was in attendance, one of the three pianists was there, and there were several other who are expected to be there that weren’t. I am not obligated to be a member of the committee because of my position at the church, I am a member because I believe I have something important to contribute to the way our services meet the worship needs of the assembly. My biggest concern is when those present do plan for the services, those who did not attend are upset because those who did attend seem to be running the place!
I’m just saying that it’s frustrating when the commitment levels of the others don’t seem to be even in the same neighborhood as mine.
In my prayers tonight I will be asking for forgiveness, instead of walking in love. I do not walk in their shoes. My reasons shouldn’t be of their concern. Peace be with you.
My Life Preserver
17 Jun 2010 Leave a Comment
Today is a Better Day!
I am thankful for…
* I have a job
* I have enough money to pay my bills
* I have pretty good health
* I have good health insurance
* I have a loving husband, who cares about my needs
* I have 5 wonderful children whom I love more than I have words, and I am so proud of each of them and who they are
* I have 2 sons-in-law who adore me
* I have a beautiful grand-daughter who I’d like to know better
* I have a good roof over my head
These were just a very few things that came to my mind ever so quickly.
Off The Deep End
17 Jun 2010 1 Comment
I’m not looking for any advise right now. My mind is not open to that just yet. Could we just have a little pity party for a minute? Because this is all about me anyway.
I hate where I am right now. I know there are people in this world who are much worse off than we are, who don’t have an income at all, but I don’t recall a time in my life EVER when I didn’t have to worry if the bills will be paid, or if we had enough money to feed and clothe the kids. My kids all know how tight money has always been for us, but I’d like to be able to give them some glimmer of hope that it’s relatively short-lived. I hate that I have to use a credit card to buy necessities because we don’t have the money. Then we max out our credit before we can begin to pay anything on a card we can’t even afford the minimum payment. What I’d really like to do, is pay off all those cards. Oh, I’d still keep them, but I don’t want the debt.
I’d like to get some different clothes for work. I’ve been wearing the same ones since I started more than 6 years ago. Some of them even longer. There are other clothing issues that come to mind, but I’m too embarrassed to mention them. That’s all I’m saying about that.
I hear people around me, on a daily basis, talking about going to lunch here, and we went to supper there, and have you ever eaten at that restaurant. We NEVER eat away from home unless you count the times we’ve stopped at Mini-Mart to pick up a honey bun and a soda. Or stopping at Wal-Mart to grab a box of Cheez-Its and a drink to eat on the way home. If on the rare occassion I’m somewhere, and I’m asked where I’d like to eat, I always ask someone else to choose because I’ve not been anywhere except McD’s, BK, Arby’s, and Pizza Hut. Do you know the “new” Pizza Hut in Wheatland was here for more than three years before I was in it?
What really scares me is, what if something were to happen to my mom? God, I miss my mom and I want to see her before I get the dreaded call from Jake. Where would we get the money to be there? I almost wasn’t able to be at my dad’s funeral because we didn’t have a reliable car, among other reasons. Speaking of cars, the A/C hasn’t worked in my car for 3, maybe 4, years now. The passenger door handle on the inside is broken. Thank goodness we can roll down the window and open it by reaching out.
We’ve needed the furnace serviced for probably 10 years, and the little furnace in the dining room hasn’t worked for probably 5 years. The carpet in the dining room should just be ripped up. It should have been replaced 8 or 10 years ago. We’d like to put in laminate flooring. The wall in one of the basement rooms leaks whenever it rains. God only knows what’s causing that.
And what about a just a little something for me? I quit getting my hair cut 3 years ago because I couldn’t afford to take $30 a month from the family available funds. Once upon a time I would get my nails done about every 6 weeks. Since I’ve been playing the mandolin, though, I really can’t have long, beautiful nails like back then, but I’d like my hands not to look like a washer woman’s.
Then there’s my health. The last time I went to the doctor was in October. My A1c was at 9. It should be about 6.5. Which means I don’t have my diabetes in any sort of control. I’m not ready for the doctor’s lecture again. I really should be seeing him every 3 to 6 months…guilt, stress, depression…
I have been walking, and watching what I eat better, but I can’t seem to lose a pound. This causes stress and depression, which, because I recognize I’m an emotional eater (but have little control), causes me to eat. Maintaining is not what I want. I want to lose 20 pounds!
I like my job, I work with some of the greatest women but I hate being there, and all the crap that happens. I’d really like to find a way to be at home, and have a good income. Being away from home depresses me. I never have time to accomplish anything productive.
My hormones must be out of whack. I’m depressed, and moody. I snap at Red all the time. (I really hate that part of all this). Did I mention the depression? I just want to sleep. Sleep helps. At least when I’m sleeping I don’t feel like crap. I just can’t seem to figure out what to do to make me happy anymore.
Sundays
31 May 2010 Leave a Comment
Sundays were spent mostly being quiet, or outside. Dad had been a musician since before I was born and, as far as I know, he played music every weekend. So, Sunday morning he would be sleeping. It was just understood that you’d better not be the one to wake Dad.
In the afternoons, Dad would take us for a ride. We were to be ready at the drop of a hat because we never knew exactly when he’d be ready to go. Mom would always be sure that if we were outside playing, we wouldn’t be doing anything that we’d get dirty at. She was the best organizer. She’d have our dresses, or perhaps a summer outfit laid out so we could do a quick change of clothes, wash our faces, grab a sweater (you’d better have one in case it gets cool) and load up in the car.
When we got in the car, Heidi always took the seat behind Mom and I would sit behind Dad. That was my favorite side because I made a connection with Dad that way. I always wanted to be his favorite, but I always sensed that Heidi held that place in his heart. I much later discovered that he really did love me immensely, but as a young child that was a tough place to be.
Our outtings were spent travelling around the southwest Wisconsin countryside. I never thought much about where we were going. It was as if Dad was doing something to make us feel like a family after a long week of him working so hard to provide for us. At the end of each trip we’d end up at a supper club for a meal. We’d sit at the bar until our meal was ready. Dad and Mom drank Christian Brothers brandy and 7-Up, and Heidi and I would have Coke. Dad and Mom usually ordered steak. Heidi and I most always ordered shrimp. The biggest thrill was after the meal when we’d go to the bar and Dad would treat us all to grasshoppers.
During my first marriage, we’d spend the day at the in-law’s. Veronica would prepare a big Sunday dinner and then we’d all gather around the television to watch football.
I’ve never liked football. Our family never watched any sports. I watched because the family was there. If it wasn’t football season, we would most likely sit at the dining room table at a game of Euchre. There again, I never much enjoyed playing cards. Our family never did it, so I wasn’t a very quick learner, and the Bredeson’s are not very encouraging. They weren’t happy until they singled someone out to pick on. Yup, that’d be me most times.
Nowadays my Sundays are spent at church. A lot of people feel like Sunday is their only day to sleep in and spend the day with their family. I had that same mindset for a lot of years. Nowadays I feel like there’s no better way to start a Sunday, and the week, than to go to church with the family. I have the rest of the day to rest and relax, and I do just that.
eBay—
19 May 2010 Leave a Comment
Red has started selling some things on eBay. He’s done pretty well with what he’s listed. He keeps coming in the house with things from his shop or the garage that he can sell. He’s so excited about it, and I’m excited for him. Since he retired a few years ago, he’s not had a lot to keep him excited. It gives a little spending money. The kids worry that their Papa is getting old. We just smile. After all, age is just a number.
